I love all the teachings recently at As Is about our authority that Christ has given us. God’s word is so clear about what all we can accomplish through speaking His word. I have a great passion for teaching about our authority when it comes specifically to healing. My husband and I hold healing classes in our home on a regular basis, and I have written a book about my healing called Receiving My Healing. Today though, I feel compelled to speak more personally about what’s happening in my life right now.
I’ve been going through some tough emotional times. I have prayed about these things and I’ve asked others to pray with me as well. I have spoken authoritatively over this matter but I continue to struggle with it. I’ve given it to God, yet I wrestle in my mind about it. I had a meltdown this week because of it. I was standing in the kitchen preparing dinner. I began to make what I thought would be a good dinner, but I changed the plan part way through the process. As I took my dinner out of the oven I came to the realization that my dinner now totally sucked! I stood there feeling totally overwhelmed and like a complete failure because I couldn’t produce a healthy dinner for me and my husband. The area of healthy eating has been a long standing struggle in my life, so here I stood completely falling apart because my dinner was boring, dry and not so healthy. I started to cry uncontrollably and was just frozen- couldn’t move. I had nothing but this overwhelming feeling that I was falling apart and that I couldn’t’ take one more thing being wrong in my life. My husband came running when he heard me crying. As we started to talk we both knew that this melt down really wasn’t about the dinner at all, although it really did suck. This melt down was about the emotional battle I had been fighting for several months now.
As I stood there in the kitchen I was frustrated and said, “I know better than this!” I began speaking my authority over this anger, anxiety and depression I was feeling and cast it to the sea (Matt 17). I then filled those vacancies with Joy and peace. We then ate the miserable dinner (my husband is such a trooper) and I went to take a bath. I filled the tub with hot water and Epsom salts. I lit a candle and played soft soothing Christian music. My mood began to change – I prayed and soaked in the music. As I was getting out of the tub I felt compelled to switch the music to praise songs. I just began to praise God for all that He does for me. I praised Him for everything I have. I praised Him for my wonderful family. I just praised him! I couldn’t play the music loud enough, I couldn’t sing the songs loud enough, I couldn’t give Him enough praise. With the towel still around my head I headed for my prayer room and just let loose. I cried and cried and praised Him. Oh man that felt good. We have such a good, good Father.
During this time He showed me many things, some directly involving this anger and anxiety I have allowed to bother me. He showed me about taking authority and how to use it and we talked about preparing the way for His plan. He also spoke to me about teaching at AS IS. The conversation was about those of us providing the small groups at AS IS. God asked me to share this story about my melt down because the church needs to understand that all of us leading in some capacity here at the church are just people. We have been through some things, are going through things and will continue to learn and grow and work through life just like everyone else here. We don’t profess to have all the answers but we all have stories and are willing to share them. We all understand that everyone has a story and we are interested in hearing it. We open our lives and our homes because we are all in this thing called life together.
But the most important thing I want to leave with you today is about praising God. If you never walk into one of our small groups where you can learn many things about God and getting through life, I want you to learn right here, right now, that It is important to praise God no matter what you are going through. If you are struggling with addiction, finances, marriage problems or health problems –whatever you are going through you can get through it to the other side and we need to praise Him no matter what is going on around us. The more we can keep our focus on Him, praising Him, the stronger we can become through Him. He wants to help us with our life story.
In His love,